Author’s Letter to All Those Who Have Lost a Loved One

I do know the shock of this loss can seem unbearable at times. And when the shock wears off, the screaming and crying eventually subside. Because there are no more tears left to cry, you may stare aimlessly into space or frantically search for anyplace their voice was recorded so you can listen to it over and over again. You somehow manage to fall asleep at night, only to wake up with the reality of what has happened and the tears start to flow once again. The depression and despair can sink in…the trauma leaves a scar on your heart that you think will never heal.

I know they were the love of your life…and still are. I know that no matter how much time seems to pass, in the beginning and possibly for years, your thoughts of them will not be fleeting. They are daily, heartfelt memories of days gone by and you wonder what it would be like if they were still here. Even when you have worked through the grief in as healthy a manner as possible, you can still break down uncontrollably. You try to conceal your grief at times when it comes on without warning such as when you are in public places. There are triggers that will always be there…no matter how much time passes, it seems. You will think about the moments that they will never show up at your front or back door again, or call again. Your heart sinks when you realize that you can no longer lie beside them. If you lost a child, you may always wonder what they would have looked like while growing up or who they would marry. No more will you get to see them do the things they did so well or buy them a gift to watch them smile. No more will you get to laugh, sing, tease, hold a hand, or hug or kiss them again…or just look into their eyes and say, “I love you.” The songs, the special places, the events, the friends…there will always be reminders on a daily basis that they are no longer a part of your life as they once were…I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you.

Please know that your loved one is with you as you grieve. When they are not right there beside you, they still feel your pain because you are linked by heart strings, actual etheric strings, cords of light that cannot be seen with the human eye. They can choose to be with you in a nanosecond if they think you need them there. You may unexpectedly find yourself needing to yawn in the middle of a big cry…Know it is your loved one sending you energy of love and comforting thoughts, trying to ease your pain. You may hear a song on the radio that has a totally different meaning than it once did, or you may awake in the morning with a song or words going through your head. Pay attention. You may even find something in a different place around the house or have lights, or electronic devices, go off and on, without anyone touching the switch. When you are ready, watch for these signs…because they are trying to let you know that they are not what you may think they are…dead. This so-called ending is a new beginning for them and we may not always understand at the time why they had to leave this dimension. When we incarnate in a physical body here on Earth, we deliberately and consciously shut ourselves off from everything we know as a soul in heaven. Only an aspect of us manifests here, knowing the potential difficulties and challenges that lie ahead, but also the potentials joys.

This life is truly a game and knowing all would prevent us from having the necessary experiences to grow spiritually. The one who crosses over will rejoice with this transition humans call death, together with the ones who left before. It is a homecoming. Eventually we must find it in our hearts to rejoice as well. They have graduated to a new level of understanding and are at peace, with more love than we can possibly imagine, being in the physical. They are home. This is why Jesus tells us to cry at birth and to rejoice at death. Now, that sentence makes sense.

Though the whys of losing a loved one are not always apparent, please know there is a reason and you may find out. No more are we limited to not knowing, evolving as human beings. Your loved one exists on another level that most of us cannot see with our physical eyes. But if you are open to believing, your senses will guide you to the truth of their presence. They may follow you around trying to communicate through signs, songs, coins, and intuitive messages to let you know they are still with you. They will not frighten you. Besides, you have your own guides protecting you always. They see that the world you are in is not real…but they remember how real it was. They understand the pain and drama this earthly experience provides and they now see the much larger picture. They may hang around to try to let you know how sorry they are…or they will be next to you, when you need to tell them how sorry you feel—if those words had been left unspoken.

There can be closure after all, in spite of this so-called separation. Talk to them, because they are there listening. They will help you adjust to their being gone…till it is time for them to move on…and then time for you to move on. And you can. If you are the one still here, know that as a soul, there is more you planned to experience here on Earth in the physical. Get busy and find out what that is…allow yourself time to grieve, then discover what it is you have left to do…and find it in your heart to do it.